When the rubber meets the road

Since going to the oncologist last week and deciding to put off the CT scan until 6/2, I have felt like my pre-lymphoma self. It is sort of confusing. I feel so normal - maybe a bit more fatigued than normal but, like I said before, that may be because I am actually paying attention and I am worried about pushing myself. This weekend I read the book, The Journey, loaned to me by my big sis. It gave me some great tools that are helping me identify and deal with some emotional baggage. Powerful. I am still reading Radical Remission which is super encouraging. I also pick up Killing Your Cancer without Killing Yourself once in awhile. Anyhow - there is no new news. Just trying to keep up with a regimen that is difficult. The herbs and supplements have doubled since I outlined it all before. The hardest part is spacing them; 3 times a day on an empty stomach. Others with food. No animal protein after 2. No sugar, alcohol, vinegar, tomatoes, pork, artificial sweeteners, carbonated b...

Thank you so much for caring enough to read these posts! Sorry I can be so wordy. I am reading a new book called Radical Remission and the researcher studied 1000 written accounts and met with 100 people who have experienced remission without conventional treatment. In no particular order, she found 9 common themes: Taking control. ...  Spiritual connections. ...  Changing your diet. ...  Herbs and supplements. ...  Social support. ...  Trusting intuition. ...  Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, focus on reasons for living. I've taken control , for now. I decided not to do the CT scan right away. The radioactive isotope orally and via IV are not good. Radiation damages DNA. I had a PET scan just 6 weeks ago and want to spread them out as much as possible and, who knows. Maybe by then we will find another way to evaluate what is going on.  I enjoy deep and meaningful  spiritual connections that mean the world to...

By the end of the day yesterday, I was tied up in knots. IV Vitamin C, PEMF, and LBG (all alternative therapies for cancer). I went in for EVOX, a type of psychotherapy. We were supposed to work on a previously determined topic. I started to cry and asked if she could help me since I could not make the decision to go forward with chemo and the stem cell transcript or to go rogue and take the responsibility of this in the faith that alternative options would take care of me. I felt defeated if I took the chemo route - but all the experts are telling me I need it (including one of the world's best alternative doctors). But so many people I respect and people I know who have been through chemo - either themselves or with someone they love, that absolutely would NOT do chemo if they had the chance to do it all again. The idea is that, with the poor prognosis of this type of cancer, I could live healthy and happy like I feel now, rather than spend precious time being, and dealing with...

You wouldn't believe the "messages" I have gotten over the past weeks. Andy, Lexie, and Nolan were watching Lion, the movie, the other night. I sit down for no more than 5 minutes and the girl tells the young man that no one blames her mother for dying - for refusing chemo. I turn on the TV for like 5 minutes the other morning to help me wind down and take a nap after not sleeping that night. The end of Love Story is on. I watch Ryan O'Neill holding his dying love and hear that music. I am very close to 2 people who lost their loves to "rare and aggressive cancers," like mine. The doctors from The Center for Cancer Healing stunned me completely by stating they think I need to go to City of Hope to do their chemo, since that is the only way they see I can do the stem cell transplant once in remission - and that reduces the chances of this lymphoma coming back and being resistant to chemo in the future. That really took me down for a couple days. I...

Hi there, I struggle with how honest to be here. The last few days have been very tough. Very confusing. As I've shared, we have been influenced by information found in places like "The Truth about Cancer" video series and the books, "The Cancer Revolution" and "Killing Your Cancer without Killing Yourself." The basic premise is - if you strengthen your body, it can fight cancer and heal. And that surgery, chemo, and radiation are the only tools the medical system have focused on and are archaic and damaging. We went to Mexico, to the Hoxsey Biomedical Clinic and got their tonic and herbs and diet. We have totally revamped our diet to be Ketogenic because Cancer feeds on sugar, adding in the Hoxsey diet restrictions. I am living on capsules and am having trouble because they are making me nauseous, especially in the morning when I work out. As I detailed in the last post, the days are very full with new habits and treatments to detox, streng...

I could literally journal every 1/2 hour and have a different set of feelings and thoughts to write about each entry. I am everywhere. There are times when fear creeps in and I feel rushed to decided to either go to City of Hope and start the CHOEP chemo regime and barrel toward a stem cell transplant in 4 - 5 months - or stick with the alternative, what they call the cutting edge, options. Here's what that is looking like: I had a pretty good 1st week of the very regimented regime but kind of fell apart over the weekend. I shouldn't say fell apart - just shifted more around than I think I should and forgot a couple things. Looks like sleeping in at all is just not a good idea and scheduling too much messes me all up. My healing plan so far. I have an appointment tomorrow to try to decide if we need to add chemo that they do at the Cancer Center for Healing or at City of Hope right now or not: Up at 5:30 focused on gratitude Do Oil pulling and tongue scraping Take my ...

Hi there. I had two people this week tell me that writing down my thoughts in the blog as I go through this thing has helped them or a family member. I feel a bit self conscious about it and the days are so full right now that it's hard for me to journal as much as I would like. The days feel like segmented, independent blocks of time; it seems I feel and think differently one day from the next. I wonder if a day will ever not be centered on cancer again; I hear this is normal.  When I called the blog, "When the Rubber Meets the Road," it meant two things to me. Is my faith real and, now that I have probably the biggest and hardest marathon of my life to face, will I put my faith in God or will I put my faith elsewhere out of fear or confusion or money or whatever. The other area is the concept of wellness. Do I believe the body is  designed, to be healthy in the face of disease and chronic stress from our environment, or do I default to the belief that the 'experts...