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Hi there,
I struggle with how honest to be here. The last few days have been very tough. Very confusing.
As I've shared, we have been influenced by information found in places like "The Truth about Cancer" video series and the books, "The Cancer Revolution" and "Killing Your Cancer without Killing Yourself."
The basic premise is - if you strengthen your body, it can fight cancer and heal. And that surgery, chemo, and radiation are the only tools the medical system have focused on and are archaic and damaging.
We went to Mexico, to the Hoxsey Biomedical Clinic and got their tonic and herbs and diet.
We have totally revamped our diet to be Ketogenic because Cancer feeds on sugar, adding in the Hoxsey diet restrictions.
I am living on capsules and am having trouble because they are making me nauseous, especially in the morning when I work out.
As I detailed in the last post, the days are very full with new habits and treatments to detox, strengthen, nourish... I even made it through my first hyperbaric chamber session today. Yikes!
Then, Monday, I was shocked to hear that the doctors at the Cancer Center for Healing think I should go to City of Hope for their conventional chemo and stem cell transplant. Testing has come back that confirms this is an aggressive lymphoma that also involves the blood somehow. They all seem to be a bit freaked out. Or maybe, they are just protecting themselves and don't want the responsibility of counseling me away from conventional treatment ....
I am so confused. I have no symptoms besides fatigue but I suspect that is my normal fatigue but I am afraid to push myself through it the way I normally do. I don't have the night sweats, fevers, rash. My lymph nodes are somewhat swollen but they are small and not growing. Do I jump into a treatment that could seriously affect my health, in the long run, when I have so little disease to fight?
Yes, it might make it easier and treatment more effective to deal with it now. But, what if finding it early and having so little disease to fight makes it possible for my body to take care of it - if I give it the chance and what it needs?
As of this moment, I plan to continue doing what I am doing and I hope to be able to get some verification in 6 weeks or so that things are either getting worse (at which time I will face the chemo and transplant), or are they staying the same or even improving (so I should continue what I am doing). The danger - if it spreads to the bone marrow, the stem cell transplant is more complicated and uncertain. Oncologist appointment Tuesday and another Cancer Center appointment Wednesday.
I know God understands my spinning head. He doesn't expect me to blissfully deal with this every moment, remembering that He is God, that He loves me, and that He promises to use this for good. I do remember those things. But, for today - I am just fed up with all the conflicting messages. I pray for clarity and for the ability to walk moment by moment and realize that is really all we have.
My big brother sent me a great message today (and 2 devotionals - thanks Ralphie!) A line in the message was,
"Even when the path is unlit, the light is still with us." That helped me all day and I will hold onto it.
Night night. I pray you sleep well. Peace.
I struggle with how honest to be here. The last few days have been very tough. Very confusing.
As I've shared, we have been influenced by information found in places like "The Truth about Cancer" video series and the books, "The Cancer Revolution" and "Killing Your Cancer without Killing Yourself."
The basic premise is - if you strengthen your body, it can fight cancer and heal. And that surgery, chemo, and radiation are the only tools the medical system have focused on and are archaic and damaging.
We went to Mexico, to the Hoxsey Biomedical Clinic and got their tonic and herbs and diet.
We have totally revamped our diet to be Ketogenic because Cancer feeds on sugar, adding in the Hoxsey diet restrictions.
I am living on capsules and am having trouble because they are making me nauseous, especially in the morning when I work out.
As I detailed in the last post, the days are very full with new habits and treatments to detox, strengthen, nourish... I even made it through my first hyperbaric chamber session today. Yikes!
Then, Monday, I was shocked to hear that the doctors at the Cancer Center for Healing think I should go to City of Hope for their conventional chemo and stem cell transplant. Testing has come back that confirms this is an aggressive lymphoma that also involves the blood somehow. They all seem to be a bit freaked out. Or maybe, they are just protecting themselves and don't want the responsibility of counseling me away from conventional treatment ....
I am so confused. I have no symptoms besides fatigue but I suspect that is my normal fatigue but I am afraid to push myself through it the way I normally do. I don't have the night sweats, fevers, rash. My lymph nodes are somewhat swollen but they are small and not growing. Do I jump into a treatment that could seriously affect my health, in the long run, when I have so little disease to fight?
Yes, it might make it easier and treatment more effective to deal with it now. But, what if finding it early and having so little disease to fight makes it possible for my body to take care of it - if I give it the chance and what it needs?
As of this moment, I plan to continue doing what I am doing and I hope to be able to get some verification in 6 weeks or so that things are either getting worse (at which time I will face the chemo and transplant), or are they staying the same or even improving (so I should continue what I am doing). The danger - if it spreads to the bone marrow, the stem cell transplant is more complicated and uncertain. Oncologist appointment Tuesday and another Cancer Center appointment Wednesday.
I know God understands my spinning head. He doesn't expect me to blissfully deal with this every moment, remembering that He is God, that He loves me, and that He promises to use this for good. I do remember those things. But, for today - I am just fed up with all the conflicting messages. I pray for clarity and for the ability to walk moment by moment and realize that is really all we have.
My big brother sent me a great message today (and 2 devotionals - thanks Ralphie!) A line in the message was,
"Even when the path is unlit, the light is still with us." That helped me all day and I will hold onto it.
Night night. I pray you sleep well. Peace.
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