What a great day!

 What a blessing to have a really nice day and be able to fully enjoy it. 

Sitting in the chemo chair the other day, I realized the anxiety I've been struggling to manage had lifted. It just wasn't there any more. It's a bit ironic, because it is natural to think I have anxiety because of the treatments and my fear that the side effects could get worse as we go forward. But it was gone and I knew it. 

Anxiety is so different than worry. Worry we can controlled, thought through, rationalized. Anxiety is helped by deep breaths and other coping techniques, but it feels more physical and out of immediate control. I have gone on a medication called Cymbalta and we just raised the dosage to 30mg about a week ago. Maybe it is working. I don't really care how, but I know it is an answer to prayer. 

Anxiety is exhausting and not in line with healing. 

I am grateful to have been given a reminder of what mental distress feels like. It makes me much more compassionate. I need these reminders sometimes. I have many people in my life who suffer and it's easy to forget. 

Today, I felt nearly normal. I get dizzy if I look down like to read. That can start the feeling of nausea so I'm careful not to do that. They warn me that starting day 4 is when a nausea medication wears off and people often feel yucky for a few days. I haven't taken anything extra today so we will see tomorrow. 

I am just so grateful for the last few days of no anxiety and very little nausea. We even took an 18 mile electric bike ride today through the beauty outside. We are expecting 2 snow storms starting tomorrow afternoon, so it was extra great to get out into the fall fresh air today. 

Thank you for checking in. Especially thank you for any prayers. They are being answered and I am so thankful!