Isolating due to persistently dangerously low white blood cell count

 We woke to a spectacularly bright beautiful day. It's going to be sunny all day and in the 50s; we've gotten more than 2 feet of snow over the past 3 days. They were good days to stay in. Tuesday I felt so normal after having chemo the previous Wednesday. I met with my Al-anon sponsor and friend and we spent a fun afternoon with our grandkids. I went in for my bi-weekly labs and was stunned to fund out I was running around the world with pretty much no immune system. My neutrifil count, which is essentially my white blood cell count had gone from high the Friday before the almost nil. It was .5 when it should be at least 4. 

The doctors office called to tell me I should isolate and watch for signs of infection. I woke the next morning with a sore throat and runny nose but no fever. I have been feeling so good; it was quite a surprise. 

I enjoyed the 3 days of almost constant snow. 

Friday I did labs again and was again surprised that my number had only gone to .7. They want me to start an antibiotic (just in case). I filled the prescription but it doesn't make sense to me if I am completely quarantined that I could catch something. 

....and I have developed the worst cold sore of my life on my lip so I am taking the stronger antiviral my dermatologist gave me for those flare ups. So my body is fighting a virus, yes, the herpes virus, so I'll deal with that for a couple days and decide on the antibiotics later. 

Otherwise, it has been a really easy round of chemo this time. Not really fatigued and not really needing the anti-nausea stuff. 

The anxiety completely left the day I did chemo. I'm not sure if it's the Cymbalta or if it was just time. I will reduce the dose back to 20mg and test it out on my next refill. The less meds the better. But I don't want to be one of those people who feel better so they go off their psych meds, only to relapse again and again. I read a bit about how women, especially, who use antibiotics often have depression and anxiety problems the year afterward because serotonin and dopamine are actually made more in the gut than the brain. I could get discouraged about the vicious circle but what good does that do. 

I feel good and I'm taking it how it comes. I'm reading a book my therapist suggested: Being Well, Even When You're Sick. It is helping me implement more about mindfulness and it talks a lot about managing stress and pain. The author had a lymphoma much like the one I deal with and underwent a stem cell transplant. She has professionally helped people going through that at the U. of Mass where she also taught at the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society there. It's helping as I put practices more in play that I've known about but have often gotten lazy about or felt I needed to implement perfectly so I gave up. 

Progress, not perfection. xoxo