No more UTIs. Back to chemo.

 The procedure to laser the kidney stones was easy because of anesthesia. I woke to the strange reality that I had strings hanging out of my urethra and the doctor telling me to take the stints out after 5 days. The stints are there to keep the urethras open after much manipulation and swelling. Also swelling in the kidneys. After looking it up on YouTube, I found the stints were about a foot long, reaching through the bladder into the kidneys. They have a little curl in them that holds them in the kidneys until they are pulled out. After 5 days, I was ready to have these out as they caused cramping. I took a couple Ativan, waited 45  minutes, and pulled them out. Easy peasy. The urologist believes that my urethra was constricted, making infection more likely. He stretched it out to get the scope, camera, and laser in and feels this is the real culprit - not the stones. 

I have felt so much better since then. No UTI symptoms. I feel virtually normal, like no lymphoma and no effects from treatment. On the other hand, I have a nagging sense of dread, anxiety, that I am working with a therapist on, as well as taking an antidepressant and occasional Ativan. 

I restart chemo tomorrow. Of course I wish I didn't need it. I have neuropathy in my fingers, muscle soreness and tightness in my thighs, my fingernails and toenails are curling in a new way, causing some new problems. I need to stay away from people the first week or so, as to not "shed" chemicals to others. My immune system tanked last time, sending me into sepsis. They tell me this is worse the 12th day after chemo. If my labs look OK, I can live life more normal from days 14 - 21 when we do chemo again. It's hard for me to concentrate on much during this time so it's not like I'm reading great books or anything. I just rest and usually watch HGTV and other emotionally neutral TV. 

After 2 more chemo sessions, they want a bone marrow biopsy. If it is negative, I am planning to deny the bone marrow transplant. If they find lymphoma in the marrow, I may need to do it. They quote statistics right now of 50% cure with a transplant and 80% relapse without it. Those are very different stats than I was given 7.5 years ago. But we will see. 

Taking it how it comes. Trusting that I am on a pathway to goodness. Hugs! 

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