The good and the bad - accepting both.

 I'm thrilled to report that the port wine colored blotches that look like huge deep bruises on my legs are looking better! I thought they were permanent. My hair is falling out faster than I expected. I guess things are just as they should be: cytotoxic chemotherapy kills newly dividing cells, healthy or cancerous. The lymph nodes in my neck are definitely reduced. I'm having night sweats which is a "B" symptom of lymphoma. 

I'm 12 days out from the last chemo so I kind of expect to feel really good by now but I realize I am not sure what that is. My muscles all hurt. I'm going to take an Epsom salt bath in a bit. Is it the lymphoma? the chemo? or from being so sedentary? I don't know but I hope it improves soon, especially my neck, which really hurts a lot of the time. We keep trying remedies. I go to a a chiropractor, an acupuncturist, and a massage therapist and my hubby puts patches and CBD pain stuff on it all the time. It has resolved in the past but this time it just keep coming back. 

This has been a real challenge. When I am sick, I just want to be alone and watch nothing TV. My energy just hasn't been there for visits and phone calls. But I feel antsy today - I need to get moving and get some things done. I really haven't been able to - the level of exhaustion has been daunting. But today is a new day and I'm going to see if I can take a bath and move more normally into the day - rather than take a bath and then collapse, which is how it's been. 

We spent some lovely hours in the ER the other night for a UTI. I finally got a 1-time powder antibiotic but I could tell the D-Mannose and AZO were working just before I got it. If only I could have waited longer: I just couldn't get any relief, or any sleep. 

I have a little bit of neuropathy in my hands and feet, it seems. I'll let them know at my next visit. I guess they modify dosages to help prevent it from getting worse. 

When things seem unbearable, I try to think of 3 things I am thankful for. Today I am thankful for my comfortable home I live in with little to no financial stress, that I am able to focus so fully on myself without having the responsibility for anyone else like small children or elderly parents, and that my dear husband appears to have endless patience through this process. I really should write them down daily. 

In to the bath I go. I so hope I can get some relief. 

Happy day to you!