Quite a kick in the pants

 Hello. 

So it sounded so innocuous. I had done a round of 60mg Prednisone when I had Covid and had no detectable problems. 100mg was a different story; but, as with all of this, it is hard to definitively say what caused what. 

I took it a few days and then went on a weekend trip, continuing the 100mg Prednisone for a total of 5 days. 60mg is considered the high dose but 100mg is often used just before a person has high dose cytotoxic chemotherapy or a stem cell transplant. A person I was with on the trip felt somewhat unwell and vomited a couple times but was then OK except for a bit of queasiness when eating. We went out for Mexican food and I thought it was one of those weird times when a normal amount of food and a couple margaritas just expanded in my stomach, making me extremely uncomfortable. I went to bed, berating myself and absolutely miserable. 

We were 4 adults in two queen beds in a normal hotel room. Ugh! 

I was up and down, trying to get some relief as I gave my digestive system a chance to clear out some of this painful mass when I realized this may be something else. Let's just say I was glad there were lots of towels in that bathroom! I haven't been violently ill like that in years! 

The next couple days, I was just generally ill, having to lay down and sleep a lot. My belief is that the Prednisone suppressed my immune system enough so that I caught whatever bug the other person had but it took me down harder. I didn't have the aggression and anger I thought I'd have and I didn't have any more trouble sleeping than I usually do, although I did take Ambient 2 of the nights away that someone had on the trip. I also used Tylenol PM a couple of the nights, all of which helped me sleep better than normal. 

Interestingly, I also had terrible sharp pains in my right hip just before and during this episode. It was like a very prickly virus settled in my hip. It was somewhat positional as I could bring it on by laying on my right side, when I laid in the bathtub to read because of being stuck in the hotel room and unable to sleep, and when I was on my knees for a bit. But boy, it was really something at the height of the flu or whatever I had. There were no stretches or positions that would relieve it once it came on. It just came and went and made walking, at times, excruciating. 

I began titrating down on the Prednisone after 5 days, as instructed. I am hopeful that, as of today, I don't seem to need any. My arm shows some of the long term effects with the "old lady" bruises that I get so easily. We will see if the achy joints and the swelling in the back of my knees and on other joints returns. It could be pretty dramatic in the past, the swelling on my joints looking like I had big bone shapes stacked on my wrists, for example. It was often hard for me to walk because of the swollen glands on the back of the knees and the painful ankles. My blood pressure and blood sugar went up when I started using it and it can weaken the bones and give you the lovely hump on the top of your back. Oh I hope I don't need it anymore. 

It didn't seem to reduce the lymph nodes on the left side of my neck that feel like they press on my trachea. They were confirmed to do that via the PET Scan and seem to ebb and flow. It can make me feel a bit panicky, thinking about what would happen if I felt I couldn't breathe enough. Intubation? 

I'll tell ya - this experience has done something for me, as has doing the research about MD Anderson's clinical trials. I just don't think I could tolerate CHOEP (the P stands for high dose Prednisone) or the like. It's like every conventional treatment weakens the body and comes with a host of side effects I just DREAD. 

It's hard to explain to people but, it's like I am very healthy except for cancer. I could be healthier because I let go of my diet and have been sporadic with other things like supplements, herbs, detox strategies, juicing, etc...

To treat the cancer with chemo or radiation would shrink lymph nodes but it's like this latest experience and look into my conventional options (which I thought may be my inevitable next step) has shown me, again, that my "other" health - besides cancer - would be seriously damaged in the process. The miracle of my body that has held this monster back for over 6.5 years (since diagnosis) would be weakened. On Facebook I see this all the time in the cancer-related groups. People get results, then it doesn't work, then their body fails. It's all-to-common. 

Today I juiced for the first time in a long time. I dread drinking it and then am surprised how much I actually love it! Carrots, celery, ginger, and a little apple was what I had. Then I made a big kale, parm, walnut, lemon, garlic, olive oil, dijon, honey salad, which felt so good to eat. I took most of the supplements I know I need (1/4 of the Fenben - working back up). It was a really great day, with time in my Bible, focus on Christ and good food, and music that fed my soul that I shared with some loved ones. 

It's not perfection, but progress - and I made strides today. 

But I never want to do 100mg of Prednisone again. Unfortunately I am up in the middle of the night but hope to get back to sleep soon. 

One day at a time. Being gentle on myself and my body. Trusting God that I am safe. Attempting to do my part day by day. xoxo