Still Throwing Spaghetti at the Wall

One of the most uncomfortable feelings I have about this health journey is the image I have of throwing spaghetti at the wall as a way of describing what I have done to deal with what's going on in my body. I value the scientific method but have been completely unable to apply it to this situation. As I've shared here many times, I burned out of it all after the first couple years and have become quite lazy. I know how blessed I am that this disease has been so stable. I don't really expect to go into remission. That is sad to admit because I know how important our beliefs are in our health. But it's the truth. So I have been living in a bit of a limbo state. I still have this cancer that the doctors are terrified to just leave alone but they still don't have a treatment that really works most of the time. And the treatment can cause new problems that very often take the lives of patients. 

I talk about having faith that God is in control of it all. I do have that faith but I question if I am doing my part - daily. 

Recently I decided to at least do something that has been helpful to bolster my health and now I feel more confused than ever. I went to Restoration Healthcare in Irvine for 9 days of titrated high dose vitamin-C and ozone IVs. It was horrible. I felt just awful. I used Zophran for the nausea starting about the 3rd day. We started with 25 grams for 3 days, then 50 for 2 days, then 75 for 2 days, then 100 for 2 days. I had to stop 1/2 way through the last day. It's so hard to describe how terrible it feels. I feel like such a wimp and it makes me panic when I think about the possibility of cytotoxic chemo someday. 

As with everything like this...there is no way to know if it was helpful or not. I should feel more healthy. I keep getting coldsores on my lips since then. That doesn't seem good. I feel like I'm always battling a sinus infection or something since then. I'm just kinda tired of it all. 

I have cut way down recently on sugar, caffeine, and alcohol. That feels good and that I'm making progress. I have been waking up and staying up at nights until the last few days. When I wake up between 1:30 - 4, I now take melatonin right away and stay in bed. It's been working to help be get back to sleep. I am preparing mentally for a strenuous trip to Isreal in about a week. I know I'm not in the greatest shape for it but my younger age than most going on the trip will probably make it possible for me to keep up. We have the grandkids for the next week, until we go, so at least I know I will be very active until then. I've also started Core Restore shakes once daily with their detox supplement as a way to help me feel more in control of what I take into my body. It helps me when I can't seem to fast right now. 

I still take Low Dose Naltrexone at night, bioidentical hormones based on lab work, thyroid meds, 10 - 20 mg of Prednisone as needed, daily. B12 and 5000IU Vitamin D. 

All and all, I appreciate this method of keeping track of what I have done - what spaghetti I've thrown at the wall - throughout this journey. Someday I may be able to use it to more scientifically look at what may have helped or not helped, or maybe it can help someone else someday. 

In the meantime...onward and upward. Cheers! 


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