When the rubber meets the road

I woke yesterday morning with no anxiety and even a lightness in my step I haven't felt lately. The day before, out of desperation, I took my Bible outside and bundled up in the sun, only to find myself actually meditating and praying for a very long time. It started as I fell into Psalm 40, which a person shared as "her psalm" many years ago when I was working through a 12-step program for codependency.     I waited patiently for the Lord; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry.  He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock,  And established my steps.  He has put a new song in my mouth -- Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear,  And will trust in the Lord. It was strange to have absolutely no urge to open my eyes or move to some other activity. I watched my thoughts come and go, focused on my breath some, and did some Ho'oponopono - style prayers, which have helped me greatly lately and in the p...

Hi!  It's been a long time since I posted. This is a reflection of how I've been dealing with the whole lymphoma thing. In many ways, because of Prednisone and the unusual stability of disease I've experienced, I've been able to live like I don't have anything going on. I essentially eat and drink what I want, live a normal life without the constant taking of hand fulls of herbs and supplements, time-consuming juicing, enemas, saunas, IVs, etc... I'm desperately trying to get more exercise because I can feel my body weakening when I exert myself, but it has been a challenge. To be honest, and I've tried really hard to be honest in this blog, I'm not feeling well these days and, while I'm trying to be kind and gentle with myself, I'm often mad at myself over it all and wonder what the heck I'm doing.  I know I have been blessed with stability of this disease when the doctors warned me from the beginning that we should not wait to jump into sta...