Excited about a new start - Day 3 True North
I was always heavier than I wanted to be. I'd have friends and sisters that were rail thin and I wanted to be the same. I was on weight watchers and going to a gym by the time I was 14. I was always mad at myself that I couldn't just stick with skinny foods. The fact is that I love carbs most of all and like to eat until I am very full.
I haven't considered myself an emotional eater until a couple days ago when something gave me anxiety that I saw on facebook. I suddenly wanted to turn on the TV and eat something crunchy. It was a dramatic moment where I realized solidly that I want to check out and use food for comfort when I'm scared or anxious. I know that I've been eating differently since Covid-19 entered our life and our country flipped on it's head too. As a believer in the living God, that means I don't lean on Jesus when I'm scared which is something I want to change.
By the time I was graduating from college, I had found my way. I was very fit and loved my gym. For years I went to the gym very early in the morning, showered before classes or work, and went on with my day. I had found classes I loved that I'd even go to in the afternoons and evenings. But...then life changed.
I met my future husband, graduated from college, went on a long motorcycle tour, and got on with life. I never got quite the same momentum again. Fortunately walking with friends became my favorite social activity but that is the only thing that I've really done ... for years!
I've always wanted to get back into fitness but there has been a block in my head. It's like the diet thing...so many opinions on what we should be doing. I also always wanted to hire a personal trainer but would never spend the money on myself and I didn't really know how to find a good one.
Nearly 6 years ago, I landed in a functional medical doctor's office feeling very hopeless. My brain just could not focus and I questioned if I could still do my job. I felt horrible and weighed 224 lbs, which is about 80 lbs heavier than I am now. I went on an elimination diet which pointed to the all-too-common need to cut out gluten, dairy, and sugar. I committed and wanted to lose 50 lbs before I turned 50 the end of that year. I fasted every Monday and drank some terrible tasting shakes that are supposed to be good for your liver called Core Restore. I lost the 50 lbs in about 8 months and have lost more since without much effort. I've been gaining since I left TN in Jan, however.
When I was here last time, there was one DC who is also a Functional Structural therapist who I loved when he led meditation and stretching classes. I mentioned then that he approached it all from a science point of view and didn't bring in belief systems that fly in the face of Christianity. I made an appointment with him today and I'm pretty excited.
I am also grateful. I don't deserve the flexibility and mostly pain-free movement I have. I am encouraged that I'm not starting from too bad a place. He did an extensive assessment and is putting together a baseline program for me that I can do every day and I can know that I am strengthening and stretching right for me. After 40 days, he will alter it virtually if I want to go to the next level. He uses bands so I don't need to go get a bunch of weights for at home. He'll also find someone near my home if I want/need to keep working with someone.
When I came to TN last time, I was at least doing 10 minutes of yoga every morning. When they told us not to work out at all while fasting, I sort of collapsed and never got back to even that. Today I turned a new corner and, although I am scared to say this out loud in case I fail, I feel good about it.
Once a person asked me, "Do you want to deal with this lymphoma while living or while dying." Today I made one more step toward living, and it feels good.
I haven't considered myself an emotional eater until a couple days ago when something gave me anxiety that I saw on facebook. I suddenly wanted to turn on the TV and eat something crunchy. It was a dramatic moment where I realized solidly that I want to check out and use food for comfort when I'm scared or anxious. I know that I've been eating differently since Covid-19 entered our life and our country flipped on it's head too. As a believer in the living God, that means I don't lean on Jesus when I'm scared which is something I want to change.
By the time I was graduating from college, I had found my way. I was very fit and loved my gym. For years I went to the gym very early in the morning, showered before classes or work, and went on with my day. I had found classes I loved that I'd even go to in the afternoons and evenings. But...then life changed.
I met my future husband, graduated from college, went on a long motorcycle tour, and got on with life. I never got quite the same momentum again. Fortunately walking with friends became my favorite social activity but that is the only thing that I've really done ... for years!
I've always wanted to get back into fitness but there has been a block in my head. It's like the diet thing...so many opinions on what we should be doing. I also always wanted to hire a personal trainer but would never spend the money on myself and I didn't really know how to find a good one.
Nearly 6 years ago, I landed in a functional medical doctor's office feeling very hopeless. My brain just could not focus and I questioned if I could still do my job. I felt horrible and weighed 224 lbs, which is about 80 lbs heavier than I am now. I went on an elimination diet which pointed to the all-too-common need to cut out gluten, dairy, and sugar. I committed and wanted to lose 50 lbs before I turned 50 the end of that year. I fasted every Monday and drank some terrible tasting shakes that are supposed to be good for your liver called Core Restore. I lost the 50 lbs in about 8 months and have lost more since without much effort. I've been gaining since I left TN in Jan, however.
When I was here last time, there was one DC who is also a Functional Structural therapist who I loved when he led meditation and stretching classes. I mentioned then that he approached it all from a science point of view and didn't bring in belief systems that fly in the face of Christianity. I made an appointment with him today and I'm pretty excited.
I am also grateful. I don't deserve the flexibility and mostly pain-free movement I have. I am encouraged that I'm not starting from too bad a place. He did an extensive assessment and is putting together a baseline program for me that I can do every day and I can know that I am strengthening and stretching right for me. After 40 days, he will alter it virtually if I want to go to the next level. He uses bands so I don't need to go get a bunch of weights for at home. He'll also find someone near my home if I want/need to keep working with someone.
When I came to TN last time, I was at least doing 10 minutes of yoga every morning. When they told us not to work out at all while fasting, I sort of collapsed and never got back to even that. Today I turned a new corner and, although I am scared to say this out loud in case I fail, I feel good about it.
Once a person asked me, "Do you want to deal with this lymphoma while living or while dying." Today I made one more step toward living, and it feels good.
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