Nights bad; Days pretty good

This is the second night that I am going to bed feeling really miserable with body aches, swelling and pain in my feet, ankles, hands, wrists and other joints. In the middle of the night, I got up and had to deal with a pretty bad bloody nose. I still feel pressure in my sinuses intermittently and sometimes have a stabbing headache. It's been hard to sleep.

It feels strange to be so up and down; I had a pretty good day yesterday with a surprise outside visit with the grand babies and their awesome mom and dad. It was like a breath of fresh air. We had an outside by the fire pit dinner with Nolan and Lexie last night that was so fun.

I thanked God that I didn't have any pain when they were all here.

In the past, my diet didn't seem to really impact how I felt. I am suspecting that I should get back on the Plant Paradox or the AIP Elimination diet to really see if my body is reacting to foods but, ugh - I am having trouble getting motivated to start all that again.

My mind is all over the place; I feel good for a bit and think I should get back to work. Then, I am miserable and don't sleep and know that trying to work would not be good for me. I am frustrated because I want to find some kind of passion/direction for my life. Then I feel stopped in my tracks again by physical pain and the reality of illness. I start the chemo drug IVs a week from Monday and have started thinking about that again. I really didn't feel well during that whole thing. I knew it could take a few cycles for the Belinostat to help my symptoms. Patience Cathie, patience.