When the rubber meets the road

Great news - the MRI showed no evidence of any metastasis to the brain.!!!! I'll have to admit it - the words metastasis to the brain are ones I've had trouble thinking, let alone saying, this past couple weeks. It's back to the plan we seem to be walking through - praying that God is doing the leading. I'm sitting in an IV chair right now, getting 100 grams of High Dose vitamin C and 800 mg of Mistletoe. I'm researching chronomodulated chemotherapy, which is a system by which chemo drugs are given according to an individual's circadian rhythm. The downside...I have to go to Chicago for 5 days every 3 weeks - for 10 months, to get it. It's a bit scary to be flying, especially right now with the flu and coronavirus freaking everyone out. And it's expensive and I get really emotional as I think about spending gobs of money like we have. But...I am finding good science that says it really does decrease the toxicity of chemo drugs while making them m...

I am almost always awake at 3:45am. I toss and turn and think and pray until I give up about an hour later. I might get up and take care of some paperwork or something that comes to mind. Today...I am typing. If I can, I almost always want to go to sleep about 5:30. Otherwise, I just stay up and get ready for work or whatever. This blog is something I don't feel like I control anymore. I feel exposed when people tell me they read it. Like I said to my dear friend, Mary, yesterday - I am much more honest in the blog than I generally am in person - unless people press me about what is going on. But I feel compelled to keep this as something of a journal of it all and, what good would it do to keep a dishonest journal? The PET Scan I had done early February came back a mixed bag. Dr. Block said that, if he saw it and didn't know all that was going on with me, he'd say the lymphoma is pretty stable - although it is definitely still there. He has the Block Integrative Cancer...

I'm gonna sing in the middle of the storm louder and louder you're gonna hear me praises roar. Out from the ashes hope will arise death is defeated the King is alive! Sing a little louder in the presence of my enemies. Sing a little louder louder than the unbelief. Sing a little louder my weapon is a melody. Sing a little louder heaven comes to fight for me. I realize I live my life with a song always going through the back of my mind. It's been important for me. It has built my faith and the soundtrack of my life. So often, when I share a memory with someone, I realize at this moment - in the middle of the night (of course), that it is often framed by a song I was listening to - learning from - being strengthened by. I often say that Christian music helped me raise my kids. It did - and God has used it to raise me! I remember a tough moment when I needed to directly confront a person who scared me. Audio Adrenaline was there - "I get...