What a difference a week (a moment) makes!
As I re-read my last post, I am vividly reminded of where my head was at when I wrote it. I was at peace (again) with jumping into conventional treatment because I was so certain I was doing worse. It had happened once before when we had scheduled chemo and all that goes with it, just to have the oncologist miraculously not be able to find the swollen lymph nodes that were there before I got to the appointment and were back a couple hours after.
Advice I received very early on has helped me tremendously. She told me, "Your body will tell you what to do." and "You can change paths if things change."
Because I believe Jesus is who he said he is, I have leaned on the fact that God will show me what to do through my body. And, he would show me if I need to change direction - and he has again.
Monday, I was driving to the doctor appointment where I was going to get the results of my annual PET Scan (the doctors want them every 3 months to monitor my "fast growing, aggressive lymphoma). Keep in mind that a PET scan is equivalent to about 1000 X-Rays. My mom's kidneys were destroyed by multiple scans in the hospital. Doctors think that these are necessary evils. I am so glad I caught the message early that I don't have to agree.
Anyhow, I was driving to the appointment and realizing I wasn't as calm as would have liked. My palms were sweaty and my knees were weak. I knew my blood pressure would be high - and it was. Andy met me there, of course. I could see how nervous he was too.
I just could not believe her words - "reduced, reduced, reduced, reduced, all cancer has either reduced or is stable." I was completely stunned.
In fact, I was almost a little disappointed. I had come be be so at peace and even a little excited to "go after it!" The realization set in that my body really is getting better, in spite of all I have been told. In fact, the other testing we had done judges the immune system. So many people have told me that I am immune compromised, and labs have confirmed it in the past. If a particular lab had shown even the slightest decline from last time, I would have gone through a protocol to get ready for IVIG therapy for that. My immune system looks dramatically better than the last set of tests. I could barely speak.
In fact, I broke down when I tried to ask questions about all the symptoms I've been having, causing me to think the cancer was out of control and my immune system was shot.
This week has felt more "normal" than any of the last 2 years. I have been able to focus more at work and find myself thinking about the future. I was getting to the point of not really making future plans. We will still go see Dr. Block to get his opinion the beginning of April. After all, the goal is full remission. We are going in the right direction and I finally have some indication that the way we are dealing with this is OK - that I'm not just denying the facts as some would think. And, I have yet another example that it is true, God is using my body to show me what to do.
Thank you again and again for the prayers and support. They have made all the difference.
Advice I received very early on has helped me tremendously. She told me, "Your body will tell you what to do." and "You can change paths if things change."
Because I believe Jesus is who he said he is, I have leaned on the fact that God will show me what to do through my body. And, he would show me if I need to change direction - and he has again.
Monday, I was driving to the doctor appointment where I was going to get the results of my annual PET Scan (the doctors want them every 3 months to monitor my "fast growing, aggressive lymphoma). Keep in mind that a PET scan is equivalent to about 1000 X-Rays. My mom's kidneys were destroyed by multiple scans in the hospital. Doctors think that these are necessary evils. I am so glad I caught the message early that I don't have to agree.
Anyhow, I was driving to the appointment and realizing I wasn't as calm as would have liked. My palms were sweaty and my knees were weak. I knew my blood pressure would be high - and it was. Andy met me there, of course. I could see how nervous he was too.
I just could not believe her words - "reduced, reduced, reduced, reduced, all cancer has either reduced or is stable." I was completely stunned.
In fact, I was almost a little disappointed. I had come be be so at peace and even a little excited to "go after it!" The realization set in that my body really is getting better, in spite of all I have been told. In fact, the other testing we had done judges the immune system. So many people have told me that I am immune compromised, and labs have confirmed it in the past. If a particular lab had shown even the slightest decline from last time, I would have gone through a protocol to get ready for IVIG therapy for that. My immune system looks dramatically better than the last set of tests. I could barely speak.
In fact, I broke down when I tried to ask questions about all the symptoms I've been having, causing me to think the cancer was out of control and my immune system was shot.
This week has felt more "normal" than any of the last 2 years. I have been able to focus more at work and find myself thinking about the future. I was getting to the point of not really making future plans. We will still go see Dr. Block to get his opinion the beginning of April. After all, the goal is full remission. We are going in the right direction and I finally have some indication that the way we are dealing with this is OK - that I'm not just denying the facts as some would think. And, I have yet another example that it is true, God is using my body to show me what to do.
Thank you again and again for the prayers and support. They have made all the difference.
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