Happy end of summer!
If you are reading this, you are one of the people who care about me. To say thank you seems silly. To know I am cared about enough for busy people to take time to keep up on something like this blesses me deeply. I'm sorry I have been so quiet. Thank you to those of you nudging me to get caught up.
It has been a whirlwind of a summer. We sold our house of 25 years, agreed to a 30 day escrow, and then I got sick. It was a flu that I just couldn't shake. It ate up the 30 days I should have been organizing and packing; Andy gladly did most of it. Dear friends and my sisters swept in at the last minute to make getting out of the house possible. In the meantime, my doctor leveled with me in that continuing to work when my body was unable to overcome the bug that was plaguing me day after day, was what could take someone in my position down. I had to stop working the last month or so of the spring semester - to focus on getting well. I did, and thankfully, overcame.
We then moved to Colorado and spent about a month settling in. We met new neighbors and even had dinner with the people we bought the house from. It feels like Monument is a small town surrounded by bustling Colorado Springs. We are only a few minutes away from stores and hospitals and everything we could need, but we feel like we've moved to small town America. We are only 25 minutes from Cameron and Hailey and those girls we can't get enough (little brother is due October). We are also only about 20 minutes away from Andy's brother, Joe, and his wife, Dee Dee. To live near them has been a dream of ours for many years so that is really cool.
Before we knew it, our month or so of getting settled in Colorado was over and it was time to host 2 of the young ones we love like our own from Namibia, Africa. When we were there long term, we promised the 30 or so kids that, if they'd use support from us an other like-minded people from our church to get through a college degree (they were coming from way behind, educationally), that we'd treat them to a trip to the US, or maybe an internship. Little did we know how hard it would be for them to get visas but, Andre (the equivalent of a BS in IT) and Victoria (the equivalent of a BA in law) were able to come for 3 weeks. They spend 1 week in OC with others who know and love them, 1 week with us, and the last week back in OC. They were treated to things like campfires, Disney, BBQs, and so much more filled with lots of love from so many people. Professionals in their areas gave them some mini-internship experiences. Andy and I pulled out the stops with a BBQ at Cam and Hailey's, fun at the 16th Street Promenade in Denver, hiking at Garden of the Gods, river rafting in Glenwood Springs, a tram ride to the top of the Rockies, a day in Arches National Park, a Jeep tour of the Grand Canyon, and lots and lots of great food, especially MEAT!
We no sooner dropped them off to the others in OC that it was time to take 8 of my students to Alaska to study climate change at the University of Alaska in Fairbanks. Andy went with me this year which was a huge help. He cooked and shopped, saving us lots of money. The kids fell in love with him, of course. We took them river rafting on a wet 55 degree day in Denali National Park - wow. What an experience! We also took them for a 13 hour bus tour of the park which was dampened a bit by low clouds and rain but was still spectacular. We saw moose (including a huge bull moose in a small lake on the side of the road, eating from the bottom and majestically splashing water up with his huge rack when he'd come up. Wow!). We saw a mama grizzly with her cubs, caribou, Dahl sheep and lots of small critters. I just love Alaska and Denali National Park is definitely a place to experience.
As for my health...I hate to admit how confusing it all is. I usually don't really feel sick but I get very very tired. I have sort of taken the summer off of the strict diet and regimen that I seem to need to keep the cancer level. I can only hope that my lack of discipline these last months haven't hurt me. Some say that to eat 'normally' the way I have is like pouring gas on a fire. I have trouble believing that but who am I to say? It has been so nice to just order what I feel like eating off of menus. It is almost impossible to eat properly while traveling. Andy and I are committed to getting back on track and cooking from home where we are now living with dear friends while in California.
I did find a new doctor in Boulder, CO. Dr. Kirsten West in an ND, focusing and board certified in oncology. She works closely with a Remission Nutrition, a group of nutritionists. Together they use labs to help determine what patients like me should actually be doing to give our bodies the best chance to beat cancer. The conflicting messages from so many directions has completely confused me; the messages are strong with dire warnings for those who don't stay in ketosis or don't drink enough juice for phytonutrients, or to those who take in too much sugar (including from carrots and apples), or from those who feel you can't beat cancer without massive amounts of carrots and apples. There are the enemas and saunas and time to meditate and pray and study and read. There are the handfuls of supplements and herbs several times a day, some of which may have been hurting me since I have high levels of copper in my body, which feeds cancer. There are those who want me to chelate for heavy medals and those who feel that will ignite the cancer. One herbalist has had me on colloidal silver 4 time a day; this new doctor feels that is like taking antibiotics long term which is terrible for the gut. Oh ugh.
This doctor was the clinical director for the doctor who wrote the book, The Metabolic Approach to Cancer. They seem to support what they say with a lot more science than the doctors in Irvine. To my surprise, after looking at my extensive labs, they want me to do a Paleo Elimination Diet for 60 - 90 days, which is not necessarily Ketogenic. It's quite restrictive but the idea is that it will heal my gut, which seems to be in trouble, according to labs. In the past, an Integrative MD I went to seemed to think everyone had problems with their gut - and everyone had Lyme's Disease. I am convinced she misdiagnosed me and a medication she had me on for a parasitic infection (Babesia) just may have helped bring on the lymphoma. To be working with doctors who can show empirical proof of their ideas is refreshing.
Also causing me some confusion was this new doctor's assertion that I shouldn't be eating broccoli/cauliflower because of thyroid issues I have (I've since learned that they are OK cooked), I have too much Omega 3 in my body so I should not be taking fish oil after all, and other very conflicting details. You can see why I get confused as to what I should be eating and doing. I have a lot of trouble eating raw vegan. This new diet plan is the opposite of that. The problem in the back of my head is that I can find so many stories of people beating cancer with raw vegan eating. The way espoused by my new doctors (and so many others I have studied) doesn't seem to bring out the bloggers and face-bookers as much, so it is hard to have confidence in it all.
And...there is NEVER anyone with T-cell lymphoma. Are the conventional doctors right - this is a completely different arena and they are the only hope?
Also to complicate things, this new doctor feels my best shot at getting into remission, besides the diet and supplement, meditation and spiritual work, is to go to another country that offers whole body hyperthermia. She suggests a clinic in Vancouver, BC but the Yelp reviews are awful. It's also about $20K in treatment costs. You get Mistletoe injections while there too. I just had labs sent to Germany that are supposed to make sure you are using the right kind of Mistletoe for you. Of course, I didn't know about that test when I spent thousands on Mistletoe at the Cancer Center for Healing in Irvine. I just hate this business.
My down deep belief after dealing with this for a year and a half is that we all want to beat cancer quickly so we are willing to try to buy our way out of it. I've done it - not realizing I have another option. The not so quick and not so fun option is steady, consistent, often difficult personal action. I have so wanted to just continue on with the activities of my life while trying my best to do what I feel led to do to deal with this diagnosis. Andy and I had a long discussion about it this morning. Do you continue to "live life" because you really don't know when things might change drastically any moment - like I could turn very ill and need hospitalization and be forced to undergo chemo and a possible bone marrow transplant. Or, do we stop life somehow in an attempt to focus better in the hopes of beating it.
I. Just. Don't. Know.
And I am so tired of all the conflicting messages in my head that stop me from action and peace.
So....I think the plan is to 1) clean up my diet and follow the Paleo Elimination Plan for 60 - 90 days. 2) Make sure to do some form of detox every day (which I suggest for everyone considering the world we live in). This includes taking charcoal supplements daily and infrared sauna, hot epsom baths followed by cold showers, or coffee enemas. I can't do them all every day - but I can make sure to do at least one of them. 3) Keep up with the supplements indicated for me through all the testing and keep tweaking them as needed. I am not going to the herbalist right now and am not taking his stuff. It's all just too much and it seems to conflict with what I am doing. 4) I am going to keep reading through by Bible, doing the daily devotions with Andy, and I am going to use my detox time to keep practicing meditation, which is a major challenge for me. 5) I have become keenly aware of a problem I have with disappointing people - especially my children. It just may be a factor in my illness and I'm working on getting over it to be able to live more freely and have better relationships with everyone. 6) I must exercise daily. There is so much data to show that exercise is key to healing and wellness and, after being in Alaska with lots and lots of retired people traveling alongside, I want to be one of the spry ones - and that takes fitness. Specifically, I need to find a way to incorporate weight bearing exercise. 7) We all need to be outside in the sun and touch dirt every day - early and late in the day is best. So, walking seems best for me except that it is so so smoky outside today because of the nearby fires. There is always an excuse or reason not to follow though, isn't there!?! Yoga inside today I guess. 8) I need to be OK with saying no to all sorts of invitations because all of this takes time. Community is important also, though. I will need to take this day by day, being OK with, again, disappointing people when I need to.
I am back at work and love it. I am so hoping that I can continue without letting stress or busyness derail me. It is so so weird to have to focus so much time and energy on my own health. I want to be running around living a full life. I am praying for peace in finding the right balance.
My biggest stress is indecision or when I need to make a new decision. I guess I have just outlined my path for now, which feels good. Now, off to order some supplements online, send some new labs to my doctor, do some yoga and meditation and read my Bible, make a salad for dinner with Andy, and get ready for work tomorrow.
Lots and lots of love to you! And again, thanks for caring. Cath
It has been a whirlwind of a summer. We sold our house of 25 years, agreed to a 30 day escrow, and then I got sick. It was a flu that I just couldn't shake. It ate up the 30 days I should have been organizing and packing; Andy gladly did most of it. Dear friends and my sisters swept in at the last minute to make getting out of the house possible. In the meantime, my doctor leveled with me in that continuing to work when my body was unable to overcome the bug that was plaguing me day after day, was what could take someone in my position down. I had to stop working the last month or so of the spring semester - to focus on getting well. I did, and thankfully, overcame.
We then moved to Colorado and spent about a month settling in. We met new neighbors and even had dinner with the people we bought the house from. It feels like Monument is a small town surrounded by bustling Colorado Springs. We are only a few minutes away from stores and hospitals and everything we could need, but we feel like we've moved to small town America. We are only 25 minutes from Cameron and Hailey and those girls we can't get enough (little brother is due October). We are also only about 20 minutes away from Andy's brother, Joe, and his wife, Dee Dee. To live near them has been a dream of ours for many years so that is really cool.
Before we knew it, our month or so of getting settled in Colorado was over and it was time to host 2 of the young ones we love like our own from Namibia, Africa. When we were there long term, we promised the 30 or so kids that, if they'd use support from us an other like-minded people from our church to get through a college degree (they were coming from way behind, educationally), that we'd treat them to a trip to the US, or maybe an internship. Little did we know how hard it would be for them to get visas but, Andre (the equivalent of a BS in IT) and Victoria (the equivalent of a BA in law) were able to come for 3 weeks. They spend 1 week in OC with others who know and love them, 1 week with us, and the last week back in OC. They were treated to things like campfires, Disney, BBQs, and so much more filled with lots of love from so many people. Professionals in their areas gave them some mini-internship experiences. Andy and I pulled out the stops with a BBQ at Cam and Hailey's, fun at the 16th Street Promenade in Denver, hiking at Garden of the Gods, river rafting in Glenwood Springs, a tram ride to the top of the Rockies, a day in Arches National Park, a Jeep tour of the Grand Canyon, and lots and lots of great food, especially MEAT!
We no sooner dropped them off to the others in OC that it was time to take 8 of my students to Alaska to study climate change at the University of Alaska in Fairbanks. Andy went with me this year which was a huge help. He cooked and shopped, saving us lots of money. The kids fell in love with him, of course. We took them river rafting on a wet 55 degree day in Denali National Park - wow. What an experience! We also took them for a 13 hour bus tour of the park which was dampened a bit by low clouds and rain but was still spectacular. We saw moose (including a huge bull moose in a small lake on the side of the road, eating from the bottom and majestically splashing water up with his huge rack when he'd come up. Wow!). We saw a mama grizzly with her cubs, caribou, Dahl sheep and lots of small critters. I just love Alaska and Denali National Park is definitely a place to experience.
As for my health...I hate to admit how confusing it all is. I usually don't really feel sick but I get very very tired. I have sort of taken the summer off of the strict diet and regimen that I seem to need to keep the cancer level. I can only hope that my lack of discipline these last months haven't hurt me. Some say that to eat 'normally' the way I have is like pouring gas on a fire. I have trouble believing that but who am I to say? It has been so nice to just order what I feel like eating off of menus. It is almost impossible to eat properly while traveling. Andy and I are committed to getting back on track and cooking from home where we are now living with dear friends while in California.
I did find a new doctor in Boulder, CO. Dr. Kirsten West in an ND, focusing and board certified in oncology. She works closely with a Remission Nutrition, a group of nutritionists. Together they use labs to help determine what patients like me should actually be doing to give our bodies the best chance to beat cancer. The conflicting messages from so many directions has completely confused me; the messages are strong with dire warnings for those who don't stay in ketosis or don't drink enough juice for phytonutrients, or to those who take in too much sugar (including from carrots and apples), or from those who feel you can't beat cancer without massive amounts of carrots and apples. There are the enemas and saunas and time to meditate and pray and study and read. There are the handfuls of supplements and herbs several times a day, some of which may have been hurting me since I have high levels of copper in my body, which feeds cancer. There are those who want me to chelate for heavy medals and those who feel that will ignite the cancer. One herbalist has had me on colloidal silver 4 time a day; this new doctor feels that is like taking antibiotics long term which is terrible for the gut. Oh ugh.
This doctor was the clinical director for the doctor who wrote the book, The Metabolic Approach to Cancer. They seem to support what they say with a lot more science than the doctors in Irvine. To my surprise, after looking at my extensive labs, they want me to do a Paleo Elimination Diet for 60 - 90 days, which is not necessarily Ketogenic. It's quite restrictive but the idea is that it will heal my gut, which seems to be in trouble, according to labs. In the past, an Integrative MD I went to seemed to think everyone had problems with their gut - and everyone had Lyme's Disease. I am convinced she misdiagnosed me and a medication she had me on for a parasitic infection (Babesia) just may have helped bring on the lymphoma. To be working with doctors who can show empirical proof of their ideas is refreshing.
Also causing me some confusion was this new doctor's assertion that I shouldn't be eating broccoli/cauliflower because of thyroid issues I have (I've since learned that they are OK cooked), I have too much Omega 3 in my body so I should not be taking fish oil after all, and other very conflicting details. You can see why I get confused as to what I should be eating and doing. I have a lot of trouble eating raw vegan. This new diet plan is the opposite of that. The problem in the back of my head is that I can find so many stories of people beating cancer with raw vegan eating. The way espoused by my new doctors (and so many others I have studied) doesn't seem to bring out the bloggers and face-bookers as much, so it is hard to have confidence in it all.
And...there is NEVER anyone with T-cell lymphoma. Are the conventional doctors right - this is a completely different arena and they are the only hope?
Also to complicate things, this new doctor feels my best shot at getting into remission, besides the diet and supplement, meditation and spiritual work, is to go to another country that offers whole body hyperthermia. She suggests a clinic in Vancouver, BC but the Yelp reviews are awful. It's also about $20K in treatment costs. You get Mistletoe injections while there too. I just had labs sent to Germany that are supposed to make sure you are using the right kind of Mistletoe for you. Of course, I didn't know about that test when I spent thousands on Mistletoe at the Cancer Center for Healing in Irvine. I just hate this business.
My down deep belief after dealing with this for a year and a half is that we all want to beat cancer quickly so we are willing to try to buy our way out of it. I've done it - not realizing I have another option. The not so quick and not so fun option is steady, consistent, often difficult personal action. I have so wanted to just continue on with the activities of my life while trying my best to do what I feel led to do to deal with this diagnosis. Andy and I had a long discussion about it this morning. Do you continue to "live life" because you really don't know when things might change drastically any moment - like I could turn very ill and need hospitalization and be forced to undergo chemo and a possible bone marrow transplant. Or, do we stop life somehow in an attempt to focus better in the hopes of beating it.
I. Just. Don't. Know.
And I am so tired of all the conflicting messages in my head that stop me from action and peace.
So....I think the plan is to 1) clean up my diet and follow the Paleo Elimination Plan for 60 - 90 days. 2) Make sure to do some form of detox every day (which I suggest for everyone considering the world we live in). This includes taking charcoal supplements daily and infrared sauna, hot epsom baths followed by cold showers, or coffee enemas. I can't do them all every day - but I can make sure to do at least one of them. 3) Keep up with the supplements indicated for me through all the testing and keep tweaking them as needed. I am not going to the herbalist right now and am not taking his stuff. It's all just too much and it seems to conflict with what I am doing. 4) I am going to keep reading through by Bible, doing the daily devotions with Andy, and I am going to use my detox time to keep practicing meditation, which is a major challenge for me. 5) I have become keenly aware of a problem I have with disappointing people - especially my children. It just may be a factor in my illness and I'm working on getting over it to be able to live more freely and have better relationships with everyone. 6) I must exercise daily. There is so much data to show that exercise is key to healing and wellness and, after being in Alaska with lots and lots of retired people traveling alongside, I want to be one of the spry ones - and that takes fitness. Specifically, I need to find a way to incorporate weight bearing exercise. 7) We all need to be outside in the sun and touch dirt every day - early and late in the day is best. So, walking seems best for me except that it is so so smoky outside today because of the nearby fires. There is always an excuse or reason not to follow though, isn't there!?! Yoga inside today I guess. 8) I need to be OK with saying no to all sorts of invitations because all of this takes time. Community is important also, though. I will need to take this day by day, being OK with, again, disappointing people when I need to.
I am back at work and love it. I am so hoping that I can continue without letting stress or busyness derail me. It is so so weird to have to focus so much time and energy on my own health. I want to be running around living a full life. I am praying for peace in finding the right balance.
My biggest stress is indecision or when I need to make a new decision. I guess I have just outlined my path for now, which feels good. Now, off to order some supplements online, send some new labs to my doctor, do some yoga and meditation and read my Bible, make a salad for dinner with Andy, and get ready for work tomorrow.
Lots and lots of love to you! And again, thanks for caring. Cath
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