Fatigue, swelling, and work but still...hope.
It's been awhile. I've been trying hard to just stay the course, in faith, giving up doubting my path for lent. It has been a challenge but it helps to think, "Just for now, I have promised not to worry or let my mind go back and forth with all the "ya, but's" that keep me from real peace."
Still taking all the basic supplements 3x/ day, cannabis suppositories 2 x/day, Chinese herbs 4x/day, changed waters and colloidal silver 4x/day, coffee enemas on Sundays now because I just can't do them during the week with work, epson salt baths a couple times a week.
I continue on the Gallium Maltolate; I've committed for 2 months and I'm about 3 weeks in.
I started 3 new substances about 10 days ago that are made from sea vegetables that are supposed to work on the heavy electron load in cancer cells.
I was very much hoping that these new things would turn around a troubling and painful swelling and stiffness that has taken over my hands and pretty much never goes away anymore. It started in October. Now it is hard to drive, I can't wear rings, and it hurts like heck if I hit my hands or feet on something or try to fully straighten my fingers.
After working with the Cancer Center for Healing for a year now, I decided to get a 2nd opinion on my hands. I respect Dr. Virginia, a retired thoracic surgeon who now focuses on cancer. I question, however, if she is as skilled a diagnostician for things other than cancers and I wonder if the swelling means something we are missing. The herbalist feels its the lymphoma and we keep working on the lymphoma. A dear friend has been going to a place called Restoration Healthcare in Irvine. They do lots of testing, supplements, and IVs there; the difference is that they work through PPO insurance. I have collected urine at home twice now - to test heavy metals and I can't remember what else. I've had lots of fun collecting feces to check my gut. My poor veins have slugged through so many collected vials of blood and more to come this Friday. Then I think I'm done with the testing for now.
I'm hoping they see something that can help. My energy level is depressingly low. And the pain in my hands spreads into my forearms and elbows sometimes. The sides of my feet are numb unless you rub an area where a nerve seems to painfully fire, and my toes are stiff like my fingers.
I spoke with a nurse navigator from Hoag Hospital who suggested 3 doctors she said would work with me to reevaluate where the lymphoma is at because I haven't had any biopsies or scans in a year. I know the lymphoma is still active because lymph nodes on the sides of my neck, groin, and left hip are still hard and enlarged. I still don't have the night sweats and fevers I'm supposed to have (thank you, Lord!). I'm waiting until April to call them, though. I've got a date March 26 that could change everything. You'll understand later.
Working is a challenge. I love being there among the young ones that are fighting so hard for better lives. I love my coworkers. Fitting in 2-3 visits a week to the herbalist for rife treatments, 2 days a week now for IVs at the new place and all the testing and new patient visits lately, weekly visits to the cancer center, labs.... I've needed to cut my hours down a bit by burning more banked leave that was meant to help me retire early. Sorry - I'm whining.
So we went to a prayer night at my church and my pastor shocked me by urging us to go to a Benny Hin service. He was with a young man years ago that was completely healed of lymphoma at one of the services. I couldn't stop giggling when he said it; all I can think of is this strange man from TV tapping me on the forehead and me falling over. But, I looked him up when we got home and he is all over the world, including Orange County March 26. So here we go. I know God can heal; I absolutely don't understand why only some people would have this gift. And, although I have seen by faith that God works in our lives and blesses and heals, I have never seen a dramatic healing before my eyes.
But I am oh so tired of this situation and I trust my pastor. So...here we go.
Lord, I've prayed since the beginning that I not miss any lessons in this. Right now I am so tired that I find it hard to believe I am grasping much of anything. I pray for your healing, however you see fit to bring it to me. I'll keep being open and knowing that You are at work in it all and you already know how this all turns out - that gives me so much peace. Please lift this familiar fatigue that drags me down. Please show me how to live with vitality and, above all, faith and joy in You. Amen
Still taking all the basic supplements 3x/ day, cannabis suppositories 2 x/day, Chinese herbs 4x/day, changed waters and colloidal silver 4x/day, coffee enemas on Sundays now because I just can't do them during the week with work, epson salt baths a couple times a week.
I continue on the Gallium Maltolate; I've committed for 2 months and I'm about 3 weeks in.
I started 3 new substances about 10 days ago that are made from sea vegetables that are supposed to work on the heavy electron load in cancer cells.
I was very much hoping that these new things would turn around a troubling and painful swelling and stiffness that has taken over my hands and pretty much never goes away anymore. It started in October. Now it is hard to drive, I can't wear rings, and it hurts like heck if I hit my hands or feet on something or try to fully straighten my fingers.
After working with the Cancer Center for Healing for a year now, I decided to get a 2nd opinion on my hands. I respect Dr. Virginia, a retired thoracic surgeon who now focuses on cancer. I question, however, if she is as skilled a diagnostician for things other than cancers and I wonder if the swelling means something we are missing. The herbalist feels its the lymphoma and we keep working on the lymphoma. A dear friend has been going to a place called Restoration Healthcare in Irvine. They do lots of testing, supplements, and IVs there; the difference is that they work through PPO insurance. I have collected urine at home twice now - to test heavy metals and I can't remember what else. I've had lots of fun collecting feces to check my gut. My poor veins have slugged through so many collected vials of blood and more to come this Friday. Then I think I'm done with the testing for now.
I'm hoping they see something that can help. My energy level is depressingly low. And the pain in my hands spreads into my forearms and elbows sometimes. The sides of my feet are numb unless you rub an area where a nerve seems to painfully fire, and my toes are stiff like my fingers.
I spoke with a nurse navigator from Hoag Hospital who suggested 3 doctors she said would work with me to reevaluate where the lymphoma is at because I haven't had any biopsies or scans in a year. I know the lymphoma is still active because lymph nodes on the sides of my neck, groin, and left hip are still hard and enlarged. I still don't have the night sweats and fevers I'm supposed to have (thank you, Lord!). I'm waiting until April to call them, though. I've got a date March 26 that could change everything. You'll understand later.
Working is a challenge. I love being there among the young ones that are fighting so hard for better lives. I love my coworkers. Fitting in 2-3 visits a week to the herbalist for rife treatments, 2 days a week now for IVs at the new place and all the testing and new patient visits lately, weekly visits to the cancer center, labs.... I've needed to cut my hours down a bit by burning more banked leave that was meant to help me retire early. Sorry - I'm whining.
So we went to a prayer night at my church and my pastor shocked me by urging us to go to a Benny Hin service. He was with a young man years ago that was completely healed of lymphoma at one of the services. I couldn't stop giggling when he said it; all I can think of is this strange man from TV tapping me on the forehead and me falling over. But, I looked him up when we got home and he is all over the world, including Orange County March 26. So here we go. I know God can heal; I absolutely don't understand why only some people would have this gift. And, although I have seen by faith that God works in our lives and blesses and heals, I have never seen a dramatic healing before my eyes.
But I am oh so tired of this situation and I trust my pastor. So...here we go.
Lord, I've prayed since the beginning that I not miss any lessons in this. Right now I am so tired that I find it hard to believe I am grasping much of anything. I pray for your healing, however you see fit to bring it to me. I'll keep being open and knowing that You are at work in it all and you already know how this all turns out - that gives me so much peace. Please lift this familiar fatigue that drags me down. Please show me how to live with vitality and, above all, faith and joy in You. Amen
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