Feels like a restart
Sorry if my last post was a bit pessimistic. I am not good at faking the pollyanna thing. I don't go back and read the old posts but, judging by some of the concern it caused, I gather I wasn't real peppy.
Last week was tough. I've developed some kind of a condition where my hands and feet swell, sometimes my left ankle and the back of my left calf and knee, and my elbows are sore when I get up in the morning. Knees hurt a lot. The joints in my big right toe and left pointer and tall finger are very painful all the time. Sometimes my wrists hurt badly. It's weird because it moves around. I can't find a diet connection. Exercise and anti-inflammatory substances don't help.
I got myself all worked up when I went to see Dr. Virginia at the Cancer Center for Healing last week. I had in mind that, I have 2 choices: go to the oncologist for a PET scan and probable biopsy on the hard lymph node on my hip, to be followed by the full chemo/bone marrow transplant ordeal. Or, restart the expensive and life gobbling IV infusions at the CCFH. There are always more therapies to try. Nothing works for everyone. It's just that I feel like we are starting back at square one. We could do a PET scan and biopsy but those aren't exactly good for a body I am trying so hard to strengthen.
I was right about what Dr. Virginia would say: Restart IVs of Mistletoe and Salecinium. She wants me to add an oral substance they are conducting a clinical trial on called Gallium Malfolate. She also wants me to take some sea vegetable compound and high dose Sodium Bicarbonate IV. That all in conjunction with lots of supplements and the chinese herbs I get from the herbalist she sent me to. And...lymphatic massage with this machine incorporated at $171 each session, twice a week. Oh ya....hyperbaric chamber 3 times/week at $250 each.
I was very emotional. I've just returned to work. I need to work for several reasons. The prospect of another several months off and tens of thousands of dollars, possibly again and again, can reduce me pretty quickly.
I decided to see if the herbalist could fit me in right away when I left CCFH. He is more than an herbalist and I trust him. He uses muscle testing and other "out there" modalities to test what's going on. He didn't agree with Dr. V that Lyme disease or Epstein Barr is causing the swelling and pain in my joints. He says it's the lymphoma, which at first was scary but he confidently asserted that we can deal with it. He also uses a Rife Machine and wants me on it 3 times a week. Of course, his office is only open during my working hours. I may have to reduce my work hours weekly for the rest of the semester, burning up more banked leave I have from classes I've taught in the past without pay.
I left him feeling hopeful and a sense of determination and confidence took over me. I emailed Dr. Virginia and let her know I am going to slowing incorporate what she's suggesting, starting with Gallium Malfolate, evaluating carefully along the way. I am especially excited about this compound after doing more research. I'm going to give my body a couple weeks on a new intervention before possibly adding more. Last year I was on so many things at once, and I felt trapped after awhile, unable to decipher if I should discontine anything.
That leads to tonight; Ash Wednesday. Andy is sick with a cold (hopefully not the flu) so we didn't make it to church. It's the beginning of lent. What should I give up? What should I add to my life to help me prepare for Holy Week and Easter?
I've decided it is doubt in my healing I need to give up. I am really excited about what I've learned about Gallium Malfolate. It is also a strong anti-inflammatory, which might help with my joints. I may start giving myself shots of Mistletoe, which is proven to help the immune system. I will probably start taking the oral form of Salacinium (Orosal) again. We'll see about the sea veggie stuff and the Sodium Bicarbonate.
So, if I see you - please hold me to it. For lent, no doubt. God is leading me (us) and is for me (us). We have options. These symptoms that can be so troubling (especially when awakened in the quiet night hours when I should be asleep). I have been constantly second guessing my decisions. It's driving me crazy. For the next couple months, I'm giving it all to God (like I should all the time). I'm committed to the Gallium study for 2 months and God can use it to take care of this if He chooses. Whatever the outcome, I know He's for me; he loves the heck out of me and all those who love me and are praying for me. He's got it and, what gives me so much comfort -He already knows the outcome of this journey.
Praying for you right now. Peace. Joy, Trust, Faith, Hope. Health. Love. Oh ya, Happy Hearts Day!
Last week was tough. I've developed some kind of a condition where my hands and feet swell, sometimes my left ankle and the back of my left calf and knee, and my elbows are sore when I get up in the morning. Knees hurt a lot. The joints in my big right toe and left pointer and tall finger are very painful all the time. Sometimes my wrists hurt badly. It's weird because it moves around. I can't find a diet connection. Exercise and anti-inflammatory substances don't help.
I got myself all worked up when I went to see Dr. Virginia at the Cancer Center for Healing last week. I had in mind that, I have 2 choices: go to the oncologist for a PET scan and probable biopsy on the hard lymph node on my hip, to be followed by the full chemo/bone marrow transplant ordeal. Or, restart the expensive and life gobbling IV infusions at the CCFH. There are always more therapies to try. Nothing works for everyone. It's just that I feel like we are starting back at square one. We could do a PET scan and biopsy but those aren't exactly good for a body I am trying so hard to strengthen.
I was right about what Dr. Virginia would say: Restart IVs of Mistletoe and Salecinium. She wants me to add an oral substance they are conducting a clinical trial on called Gallium Malfolate. She also wants me to take some sea vegetable compound and high dose Sodium Bicarbonate IV. That all in conjunction with lots of supplements and the chinese herbs I get from the herbalist she sent me to. And...lymphatic massage with this machine incorporated at $171 each session, twice a week. Oh ya....hyperbaric chamber 3 times/week at $250 each.
I was very emotional. I've just returned to work. I need to work for several reasons. The prospect of another several months off and tens of thousands of dollars, possibly again and again, can reduce me pretty quickly.
I decided to see if the herbalist could fit me in right away when I left CCFH. He is more than an herbalist and I trust him. He uses muscle testing and other "out there" modalities to test what's going on. He didn't agree with Dr. V that Lyme disease or Epstein Barr is causing the swelling and pain in my joints. He says it's the lymphoma, which at first was scary but he confidently asserted that we can deal with it. He also uses a Rife Machine and wants me on it 3 times a week. Of course, his office is only open during my working hours. I may have to reduce my work hours weekly for the rest of the semester, burning up more banked leave I have from classes I've taught in the past without pay.
I left him feeling hopeful and a sense of determination and confidence took over me. I emailed Dr. Virginia and let her know I am going to slowing incorporate what she's suggesting, starting with Gallium Malfolate, evaluating carefully along the way. I am especially excited about this compound after doing more research. I'm going to give my body a couple weeks on a new intervention before possibly adding more. Last year I was on so many things at once, and I felt trapped after awhile, unable to decipher if I should discontine anything.
That leads to tonight; Ash Wednesday. Andy is sick with a cold (hopefully not the flu) so we didn't make it to church. It's the beginning of lent. What should I give up? What should I add to my life to help me prepare for Holy Week and Easter?
I've decided it is doubt in my healing I need to give up. I am really excited about what I've learned about Gallium Malfolate. It is also a strong anti-inflammatory, which might help with my joints. I may start giving myself shots of Mistletoe, which is proven to help the immune system. I will probably start taking the oral form of Salacinium (Orosal) again. We'll see about the sea veggie stuff and the Sodium Bicarbonate.
So, if I see you - please hold me to it. For lent, no doubt. God is leading me (us) and is for me (us). We have options. These symptoms that can be so troubling (especially when awakened in the quiet night hours when I should be asleep). I have been constantly second guessing my decisions. It's driving me crazy. For the next couple months, I'm giving it all to God (like I should all the time). I'm committed to the Gallium study for 2 months and God can use it to take care of this if He chooses. Whatever the outcome, I know He's for me; he loves the heck out of me and all those who love me and are praying for me. He's got it and, what gives me so much comfort -He already knows the outcome of this journey.
Praying for you right now. Peace. Joy, Trust, Faith, Hope. Health. Love. Oh ya, Happy Hearts Day!
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