Week 2 at OHI

Hi There.

Week 1 at OHI is very focused on physical detox and education about health. I've learned a ton. I came here pretty confused. I work with a doctor who believes in the Ketogenic diet to fight cancer and I have friends working with another very famous and successful diet who believes it too. But I see testimonial after testimonial that says raw vegan is the best healing modality. It is powerful to see people who have kicked cancer to the curb 5-10-20 years ago by going raw vegan for at least a period of time, and then making sure to center their lives on whole plant foods to stay well, even if it's not as strict as raw vegan.

I am definitely going to be sprouting and eating live sprouts throughout my days from now on. There really isn't a way to get live food without growing it yourself or living next to an organic farm and buying it recently harvested and sprouts are easy! I may offer sprouting lessons from home because I am feeling so passionate about that. It is imperative to clean up the nuts and seeds and beans we eat by simply buying raw organic, soaking them to review their enzyme inhibitors and natural pesticides that some produce, sprouting them, and then dehydrating them with some healthy salt to make them crunchy and yummy, never heating them above 105 degrees so I don't kill the digestive enzymes they are meant to be eaten with.

Week 2 is known for breaking people's emotional defenses down. I am having some revelations and Jesus is right here, as always, helping me see and walk through territory with possible painful landmines - shielding me from anything destructive.

When you get a diagnosis and a prognosis that suggests you may not have much time left in this life, there are moments when it’s like, “Is this it?” I think we expect some kind of a big bang in our life that tells us, “OK, I can die now.” I’ve actually thought that. I’ve been so blessed. My biggest goals were to have a family and raise them with joy and adventure and faith. I am so fortunate to have been able to do that. But, I still have flashes of thoughts about how unsatisfied I am with it all just ending without some sense of completion.  

I am realizing that I have another facet of how I think deep down, in that I am always negating what I am feeling with, “Ya, but what about everyone else? What about a 20-year-old soldier who dies in a battle, nearly anonymous. What about him? If he didn’t get satisfaction before his time on earth ended, why should you?” I do this with everything – berate myself for asking for anything more, when my adult life has been so blessed - and it steals my joy. I can’t fully enjoy the blessings of my life because everyone doesn’t get them. I feel guilt and saddness for others all the time. I tell myself it’s compassion but what is it really?

I wonder how the God of the Universe feels about my thoughts. He is somehow in control of the past, present, and future. I’ve always had trouble with this thought. I rest on the verse in Romans that He uses all things for our good, but to think He is actually in control is tough. Somehow, He is using everything for everyone’s best good – certainly in light of eternity since it sure seems like some people get the short end of the stick here.

I show a supreme lack of trust and understanding by focusing on what others don’t have, rather than trusting the God Who Made Them and Loves Them with the unfolding of their lives. Just because I consider a fulfilling life to have certain ingredients, does not mean there are no other full, rich, and satisfying lives. My thinking does nothing for them and is very detrimental to me. And, what a disservice I do to hide my life from others in the hopes of not hurting their feelings. (An example is a woman I know who wants grandchildren and may never see that happen. I find myself skirting around conversations about my family. If effect, I don’t share my true self with her and I assume her life is anemic and sad.)

I need more faith in what God is up to, in all of our lives. I need to look at the blessings we all have in being alive and forging our own paths. I can be compassionate when people are in pain, but I must trust that God is in control and knows what He's doing. I must free myself to joyfully live boldly and fully in my own circumstances. 

Back to prayer. Back to Scripture. Back to Truth and Love. I am praying for God to help me break these patterns of thinking and He's giving me lots of tools here to do just that. God bless and keep you!

On to day 2 of the 2.5 day juice fast. Classes today are exercise, how to focus your life II, a release ceremony where we ceremonially let go of something of something that is not serving us, communication I, lymphatic exercise, conscious breathing. We practice a meditation called Alpha that I find awesome for my prayer life. We've had 1 cooking class and 1 gardening class which are really fun. I've gotten to try some interesting ancient healing modalities like toning. And I've leaned a lot about how the body's detox, elimination, and digestion systems really work. We're 1/2 way through this adventure and I couldn't be more thankful. 

With love...