Days 2 - 4 at OHI
1/8 – 1/10/18
This is really an interesting place. People from every
single walk of life are here; I think that is true because it is so reasonably
priced yet completely unique. I hit a wall a couple of months back and just cannot
spend money on exorbitantly priced treatments; I feel like people are preying on cancer
patients’ desperation. It was like a switch flipped in my head and I knew I
needed to take full responsibility for my healing, which does not entail
sitting in a lounge chair taking in overpriced IVs as well as other treatments
that may or may not work. I am implementing other options but they are
challenging: Cannabis (I make my own suppositories), Hoxsey tonic from Mexico, coming
to this place to learn raw vegan eating, working with an herbalist, enemas and saunas
and baths for detox, tons of supplements, extensive psychotherapy of different types, learning to
meditate and control my thoughts, spending ample time with God and in his Word…
These are all things I can do and I can also help others do. And there are
ample stories of people who have healed through these modalities.
The reality for me today, though, is that nothing we are taking in tastes
good. The vegies and juice are so bland and flat. They don’t use any salt or
vinegar or oils here. I suppose the way I feel is because I am so accustomed to
these things. There is an interesting connection between tastes and emotions. I’ve
been accused of doing a happy dance in my seat when I eat food I love. Dinner
parties with loved ones is my favorite thing, actually. So, what do you do when you don't look forward to your next meal? Or for months of upcoming meals?
Down deep I am not happy about having to go this route. Raw
vegan is contrary to what I love – flavorful soups, slow cooked tender meats, baked
goods like gluten free zucchini walnut muffins, gluten free warm breads, and a
nice glass of wine with dinner. Of course, there are many vegan options in
these categories but they are not necessarily healthy options. To heal from
cancer, my path is leading me to a very simple diet of mainly green vegies and
sprouts. Could God be taking away vices that I use to fill up my soul, when He
wants to do that? He is a jealous God, after all.
Throughout this journey, I have held onto the belief that
God is in control and that I must have been headed in a direction that would have hurt me and my relationship with him, explaining the need for such a diagnosis.
Each time I try to default to my norm, like going back to work and centering my
life on it the way that feels good to me, new realities about this lymphoma
divert me back to the place where I am looking and learning, listening and
following, and having absolutely nothing but God himself to hold onto. There
are no clear answers or pathways at this point; I am just following day by day.
However, I hear story after story of people clearing their
bodies of disease with raw vegan living for a period of time. I need to
remember this because I am fighting the idea that I will need to eat perfectly
like this for the rest of my life. I am hoping this is for a healing season and
then I can find a way to eat that doesn’t feel quite so restrictive, but that
also maintains my healing.
I also am living in a world with a lot of cancer and hear
lots of stories of people who don’t make it. I love something a man told me
today. When people would refer to his wife as “terminal,” she’d correct them
and exclaim that she was “eternal.” I’m reminded that sometimes healing is in
heaven, as it was for her after a three-year process of trying many of the same
things I am trying. I am learning more and more
to trust and keep my eyes on Christ, not a disease or situation. It is the only
way to peace. He’s got me; I am safe.
Thank you, Lord, for teaching me new things that are not
only healing me, but that will heal others as I share. Thank you for your patience
and mercy with me through this - and
always. As the world seems to be barreling toward hopelessness, let me be a
carrier of your hope. And show me and the rest of us how to be about you while
bringing hope and healing, physically and spiritually. Love you!
Hi Cathi. I would love to learn about vegan food prep. With you all the way. Diane 💫
ReplyDeleteIt's fascinating. From now on we go to yummy vegan restaurants (-:
DeleteLove your comments on love of food. I feel the same, but feel the need to combine some more purity in my diet. What a journey.
ReplyDeleteYa, we all do. It's really a challenge but we can do it.
DeleteJust wanted to share that I learned a lot about myself in this post, especially the fact that good food is the best part of my day too!! Thanks for updating consistently, thinking and praying for you always!
ReplyDeleteHello beautiful. Thank you for the encouragement. Sometimes I wonder about sharing my thoughts so publicly. You are just so wise beyond your years. I hope you are having a terrific time while working your tail off in school, of course. When you are home next, I'd love to actually get together and have a conversation. I don't think we've ever really done that. (-:
Delete"As the world seems to be barreling toward hopelessness, let me be a carrier of your hope. And show me and the rest of us how to be about you while bringing hope and healing, physically and spiritually." ❤️ You are doing exactly this ☝🏽.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Steve. You are such an encouragement (you give me courage). Love you.
Delete