When the rubber meets the road

Hi there. I haven't felt good. It seems like ever since I got the SOT (vaccine) made from my own blood for the Epstein Barr Virus and I started going to the herbalist, Tom Screens, I just haven't felt well. My doctor believes in what the herbalist does, as do many of the patients I have met at the center. He was once a chiropractor and is trained in the use of Chinese herbs. He uses Rife technology and more, reading meridians and energy. He makes his own supplements, researches extensively, and blends herbal concoctions based on what your body says it needs. It takes some faith and is impossible for me to explain when asked about all I am taking. I've tried to increase the amount of juice I take in but, boy, what a job that is every day. I battle thoughts about possible conflicts in my protocol:      No alcohol with Hoxsey yet there is alcohol in the herbal mixtures.      No pork with Hoxsey yet there is pork in the natural thyroid hormone I take. ...

One of the very best pieces of advice I have received in this journey is to trust my body to tell me what to do. I experienced a down right miracle when doing so - when I went to the oncologist a few months ago, resigned to start a 5 - 7 drug chemo that would start me down a path I believe would be destructive, but that I had come to believe was necessary, only to have the doctor stop everything when he couldn't find any proof of disease. An hour later, the lymph nodes were swollen again. I absolutely know that was God speaking to Andy and I. He stopped us cold. Sometimes the other path he has set us on feels like too much for me and, frankly, it is very confusing. I have no proven effective treatment (conventional or alternative), no guru, no miracle food or herb - to cling to. Much of the time I feel like I'm in a dense fog, hoping I'm walking toward solid ground and not a jagged cliff. For awhile, the clear message at that appointment gave me great peace. Then the doub...

Hey there. Thanks for keeping up and the prayers. This is a long road and I'm so grateful to be on it with so much support. I've felt like the last entry was quite whiny. I know it's okay to have good days and bad days. Yesterday was a great day - spent with two of our kids and feeling good. Today was back to walking through mud and having trouble feeling positive about it all. I just don't know where I'm at. I know my body is struggling to conquer the Epstein Barr Virus and who knows what else, besides T Cell Lymphoma. When I splurge at all, sharing bites of someone's dessert or eating a soup with heavy cream in it, for example, my joints swell and I feel so achy and awful the next day. It's scary. No gluten, dairy, sugar, tomatoes, alcohol, pork, vinegar. Cutting down to no more than 1 serving of animal protein (including eggs) per day. Since it appears I'm having autoimmune symptoms, I'm starting the book, The Autoimmune Solution, that has bee...

I should feel grateful right now. I have a third confirmation that the Epstein Barr Virus is most likely the root of the cause of my cancer and a practitioner I saw today feels we can knock it out in something like the next 30 days. It is comforting to hear him say how rampant it is in my body; it helps me feel like I'm not crazy or lazy or just a wimp. He only added 3 tinctures, a liquid herbal supplement, and colloidal silver 4 times a day to my regimen. I don't feel good today, though. And I am overwhelmed as I try to figure out how to add even more to what I am doing now. Of course, we are hoping that taking care of the EBV will put my body in the position to take care of the lymphoma. My body made it; my body can heal it. I have fought the idea that taking care of myself is really all I can do right ow but this might just be the straw that breaks this camel's back. In other words, I think I need to just stay home to stay on track and stop thinking I can do anything...

Hi There. It has be a really long time since I posted anything. It is just so difficult to sum this process up. I feel like I am falling backward down a very long tube and God is asking me to trust him and relax. As I reach for anything to give me peace, besides trusting Him, I wobble. I might grab for a treatment option or a particular "expert" but God just keeps saying for me to stop and to relax, lay back and trust. In the meantime, I try to be faithful to what I need to be doing to take stress off my body and give it what it needs to heal itself, as I've detailed before. About a month ago, I felt the concern and dread I had about the lymphoma and all the ominous details about it just lift from me. I felt really good physically and, although lymph nodes continue to grow and shrink in unpredictable ways, I just am not scared. We had a prayer night a month ago at my church and I remember feeling at tremendous peace and even seeing glimpses of gratitude that I have ...

If you're interested in learning more along with me, there is a series of videos offered free over the next few weeks called Square One. I don't use everything Chris Wark talks about but he has put a lot of things together that I wish I had known from the beginning and I really like his style. Signing up will get you on a mailing list but you can opt off that list when the videos are done. Check it out before it goes offline and then you have to pay at https://squareone.chrisbeatcancer.com/module1. One of my doctors likes to tell me that her patients with lymphoma do well under 2 conditions: 1) Stay on track with a very healthy diet - feeding healthy cells with good food as close to nature makes it and not feeding the cancer cells with sugar and weakening my body with toxins. I'm working on making sure I fill up on vegetables and fruits (smoothy for breakfast, juicing, salads, wheat grass shots). I just can't see myself going vegan or even vegetarian, but I can be c...

The only way I can describe how I feel right now is like a bobbing boat in the middle of the ocean. I'm not really in a scary storm. I certainly was the first few months after this diagnosis and it can get pretty choppy sometimes. I'm just out here - waiting. My instinct is to start the engine and get moving toward some enticing destination. But I am just to wait. Don't get me wrong - I'm active in this process but I am in uncharted territory by not being on the move, headed somewhere, excited about some new goal or challenge. (Proving my worth?) I know God is at work and I am learning to "Be still and know..." It sure feels weird though. Tonight was a night of prayer at my church. I didn't go with the thought of being prayed over. I thought we were going to pray for people all over the world going through such tough stuff as hurricanes and fires. But I got prayed over. "When two or more are gathered in his name, He is there." It's hard t...