When the rubber meets the road

The fatigue is amazing ... I wake in the morning and hope I will feel normal as I get moving. Day after day I just can't believe how heavy my body feels. I describe it as the feeling of having concrete in my veins. I am slurping coffee, trying to feel some spark. But I really don't.  I love having people over, especially the grandkids. I just crave being able to lay down most of the time I get with them or anyone else, however. And I hate it.  I am going to an Acupuncturist (Joe at Springs Chiro). He promises to get my Chi moving. I haven't noticed any changes in about a month of going weekly. I see a Lymphatic Massage person who does this electrical lymph massage invented by Skye whose wife I used to see in So. Cal. I felt a bit lighter on my feet the first time I went to her but nothing really the 2nd time (Lisa). I've been going to a massage therapist once monthly - mainly trying to get some relief from what I describe as a pinched nerve in my scapula (Tanya). I need...

 I look back on my life and see so many blessings. They've come mostly in the form of people. Sure, I could dwell on the earthly dad disappointments, especially on Father's Day weekend that has given me some melancholy days in the past.  We just had dinner with dear friends who drove all the way to us after an exceptionally busy day of graduations and family celebrations up in Denver. They are older than us and represent "The MOO Patio" to me, meaning the patio attached to our previous church in Southern California. There were people, like these two, who had all their own stuff to deal with yet showed me so much love and support that "The Patio" became the main reason I attended that church for many years. I've thanked the pastors for the steady ship they created there - where we raised our boys and sought God - and found him ready to respond with love - always!  Today was a tough day. The grandkids came over at my request to make planned Father's Da...

 ... that I AM better. I'm a bit discouraged now that Dr. Haverkos told me the norm is for people to improve up until the 4th month (I'm about 2.75 months in) on the clinical trial drugs and then they generally maintain from there. I look weird and am so heavy. I have swollen lymph nodes on the front and side of my neck that change my appearance completely, and I definitely have the Prednisone moon face. I'm very over weight.  I feel heavy in my body, like I'm trudging through mud when I stand or walk most days. I'm doing 5 mg Prednisone one day and 10 the next and see a difference if I forget the Turmeric (joint pain and swelling) so I am being faithful with that.  I am really really tired a lot of the time but push through events I've scheduled. The night time meds help me sleep through the night, which is so awesome, but I believe it makes me groggy the 1st half of the next day.  I have a rash but it isn't itchy, so I am grateful. I still go to light ther...